Moms: Stop striving for perfect and embrace your failures

Let’s be real. I have struggled with time management and organization throughout much of my life. Being easily distracted, lost in my head with a case of what I believe to be undiagnosed ADHD (not really so much the H), I felt at times that it was impossible to have it all together, though try as I might. And scrolling through Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and pretty much anywhere you might find mom advice, often made me feel worse about myself. It seemed like other people had things figured out. Why didn’t I? What was wrong with me that I was always a hot mess?

It’s honestly the reason Totally the Mom began. Because I wanted to share the strategies that have helped transform my life with other moms. But, full transparency, I have struggled (and still do) to tell people I know in real life about it because they have seen my life and home at times when I have not had my sh*t together.

But, you know what? (And I need to remind myself of this too) that’s real life. We all would benefit by sharing our struggles and fails just as often as we share our wins.

Hard days are going to happen, no matter how well you’ve got your sh*t together. It isn’t always going to be clean, organized or pretty. Kids get sick. You get sick. You get busy. Life happens. But it doesn’t have to derail you from your goals and certainly doesn’t make you a terrible person.

So here is my reminder to you:

Stop striving for perfect. Embrace your failures and use them as an opportunity to grow. Be proud of whatever you did today.


One bad day, or week, does not make you a bad mom. It doesn’t mean you suck at this or aren’t ever going to be able to accomplish your goal. At worst, you might need to look at your priorities and make some adjustments to the way you are spending your time, and that is ok.

Have the grace to accept your imperfection and embrace it. If there is one thing that is absolutely certain, it’s that sometimes, you will fail. I will fail. We all do. A lot. But, failures aren’t bad. They’re growth opportunities. So give yourself a break. My house will never be perfect. I will never be perfect. And it’s ok. Sometimes our kids need more of us. I would rather my kids remember that I am here for them than that our house was picture-perfectly clean and organized. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important to me. Some days are just going to be hard. Some days are not going to go as planned. But they do not ALL have to be like this. Tomorrow is another day. Have the grace to recognize that and allow yourself to mess up once in a while.

Take pride in what you did do today:

  • Messy house? Maybe that’s because you were making other things, like playing with your kids or cuddling a sick baby or working on a big project, a higher priority today. The mess can wait.
  • Did you spend more time than you’d like with Netflix or checking in on your phone today? That’s ok. You took some down time for yourself today that you probably needed.

We all have these days. Don’t let Pinterest, Instagram or Facebook fool you. Don’t let other people tell you what your priorities are. You don’t have to be perfect. Were your kids fed today? Did they go to sleep in a safe place? Did you tell them you love them? You’ve done all you needed to do today.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Please share with anyone you think could use this reminder.

I’m always cheering you on!

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